I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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