Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize