just come out here and I will go home with you...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
