there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
