lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
