the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize