He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
