'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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