I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
