All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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