He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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