My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
