If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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