i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
