he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
