you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
