if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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