Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
