I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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