I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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