he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize