I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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