we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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