Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
