Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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