Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
