This is not my ceiling
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him