we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
lying in bed pretending to be a slug