Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
