Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
