Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
