so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
