I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
