There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i think i just lost a toe
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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