And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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