It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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