I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sober January is a disaster.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
