no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
