im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
