Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me đ
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick âmy pegasusâ weâre not friends anymore
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
