Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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