either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
