yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
