why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize