quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
