His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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