Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sobbing to NWA
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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