he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
