I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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