My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
