If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
