Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
