Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
