my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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