My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
