So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
